True Prayer

This is
the last time,
the final time I'll quit,
the time before was
an abomination,
I promise.
I promise.
I promise to
treat life with love
and not wait
for the other shoe
to drop.
There is no way,
no way,
it will ever happen,
not again,
no.
I've made paper fold inside
itself, I've made animals
cower and
angels weep
and only now do I
really
understand. Please . . .
please . . . please . . .